I tried three times last night, walking out onto the porch with her while she trotted to just under the edge of the porch roof that was being beaten with monsoon-loud rain and then looked up at me like, "that's a solid pass, lady", and high-tailed it back inside. So I said, "fine then", and went to bed.
And thus, last night will long be remembered as Miley's pooping reign of terror.
ONE OF THEM FOUND HALF STEPPED IN.
On the plus side, my house now smells like the inside of a Pine-Sol bottle because I was forced to go on a sanitization rampage. Good times.
Also on the plus side: the puppies have opened their eyes! They are two weeks old now and growing like weeds and are the cause of much wasted time due to their adorableness. It's a real problem.