Which is, when I tell the story in person, there are so many details about the thought process behind my and Russ's differing views that would be overwhelming to try and explain well here. I felt like I wouldn't be able to do it without potentially offending someone who does work already, or has to work, or loves to work full-time, all things that I am fully in support of.
I've finally decided to forget about all that, and just share a somewhat shortened version.
During the spring of 2013, after being a full-time stay-at-home mom for 12 years, Russell started to really push the idea of me going back to work, now that Blake, our youngest child, was going to be starting half-day kindergarten in the fall.
I was very resistant to this idea for several valid reasons, not the least of which being that I felt like the role of a stay-at-home mom IS a full time job in and of itself, a job that I loved and felt very fulfilled in.
(And that's where it's hard to write stuff like that and not feel like people might get defensive or judgy because everyone feels differently about that subject. So I'll just state that I'm not trying to push my own feelings on anyone else. And move on...)
So as spring progressed into summer, the subject became a matter of debate, and a rather contentious one at that. Finally, around July or so, I decided I wasn't going to argue my case a single more time and I asked Russ (who also had very valid points), to please let me have a period of: "we're just not talking about it."
During that period I repeatedly prayed a simple prayer. "Lord, please change my heart if I am supposed to go back to work, and if not, please change my husband's heart".
Surprisingly, we actually went a whole month and a half without talking about the subject AT ALL, and then, around the end of August, Russell shocked the heck out of me when he told me that he was okay with me not working if I didn't want to. And not only okay, but fully supportive. What?!!!
I was so thrilled, and thankful to God for bringing about this heart change all on His own, instead of it being a battle I had to win myself, and we happily entered the new school year with me busy with after-school and home activities, while still getting to attend ladies bible study and my prayer group, as well as volunteering one day a week at my kids' school.
Then, at the beginning of October 2013, while donating blood at a blood-drive down at the school, I sat in the waiting area with another school mom who also attends our church and we started chit chatting. I didn't know her very well but I knew that she and her husband ran their own business, and that a friend of mine worked for them part-time as their bookkeeper and office person, so as a way to make conversation I asked how my friend was doing there. She replied that actually, my friend had just got a full-time job somewhere else and they were going to have to find someone new, and she was kind of stressed out about it.
And I, Miss-oh-so-happy-to-NOT-be-working-outside-the-home, turned and looked at her and said, "Huh. You know, I think I might be interested in that job..."
I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW WHAT MADE ME SAY IT. The words just tumbled out all on their own.
But it was true. I was totally interested. And this is what happened next:
I was enthusiastically offered the job right then and there, for more pay than they were currently paying, with the promise of being able to work only a couple days a week on whatever days I wanted, at whatever hours that worked for me, and to be able to bring Blake with me after kindergarten, and my little dog if I wanted, and I didn't need to turn in a resume or fill out an application or go through any normal "getting a job" process at all.
It was all pretty wild.
I could not WAIT to tell Russ either! I was so excited to see his shocked face when I told him I'd gone and got myself a job... and shocked it was!
I started two weeks later and now, exactly a year from then, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that the whole thing was totally God. I love my job. L-O-V-E I-T. I'm still home most days, I still get to attend bible study and prayer group, and do all the mom and housewife things that are important to me, without being too tired or worn out. It is absolutely perfect for me.
If I had looked for a job last summer when Russ first wanted me to, I would not only have had a bad attitude and been resentful towards my husband, but I also would not have found the job I have, because it wasn't even available until October. I just love how God works, and how good He is.
And that's how God changed my heart and put a sweet little job right into my lap.