^^Hey, cute husband!^^
me: so I found these cute boots on ebay...
Russ: buy em :)
me: You're lucky to have such a laid back wife, you know ;)
Russ: I would love to lie with my wife... that's what I just read, if you want me to hear anything else you'd better not use the words laid and wife in the same sentence :)
Russ: At the gas station. Do you care if I give a couple of tweaker (druggie) kids $10 for gas? Laid on my heart
me: of course not
me: thanks honey for saving me last night when I ran out of gas, you are the best!
Russ: no worries sugar momma ;)
Russ (at the Dr. office): they are going to do an xray for nemoanya
me: do you mean pneumonia? Coz that wasn't even close
Russ: thank you mrs. dictionary, some of us are sick here!
(After going over the budget with Russ before leaving for grocery shopping with my mother, and ending in a heated argument over my "methods" of documenting our spending, I basically stormed off with a "don't micromanage me because I WILL QUIT!" and then sent Mum a text, except I accidentally sent it to Russ...)
me: not quite ready to leave, can you give me an extra 15 minutes?
Russ, pretending to be mum: Let's just cancel for tonight. Instead of giving you an extra 15 minutes I think you should spend the entire day making love with your husband!
me: oh my gosh I would smile except I don't like you right now!
Russ: well since your evening plans have been cancelled you can learn to like me.
(And just like that we were made up and off I went shopping where I happily bought myself some fun things along the way :)