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Yes, it's a birth story


Three years ago today, Blake, my youngest child, came into the world quite dramatically. Not as dramatically as his father of course, who was delivered in a pick up truck... but with a bang none the less.

First, a little background:
- My water never broke on its own during my two previous births.
- I had epidurals for both of them and they were AWE.SOME. 
- Besides my husband; my mother, mother-in-law, sister, and two sisters-in-law were all in the room with me during my first two deliveries and it was a PAR-TAY. I planned to have them all in again for my 3rd delivery. I know, crazy, but I loved it.
- During my pregnancy with Blake I had been dilated (sorry men) for a couple of weeks already and because of this was told to get to the hospital ASAP when I went into labor as it would probably go quickly. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER.

So it happened like this: five days before my due date, on March 10th 2008, I woke up with a strong contraction a little after 5 am, just as Russ was pulling out of the driveway for work. I could tell right away that it was a real one and couldn't go back to sleep so I started timing the following contractions, which came every 8-10 minutes apart. This continued for an hour and a half before I decided to get up and get showered and ready (have to shave those legs on labor day, you know!), thinking I'd call Russ to give him the heads up to come back home when I got out.

Unfortunately, my water broke while showering and I didn't know it (because Blake was already so low his head blocked much leakage), and my contractions suddenly started coming 3-4 minutes apart. And that's where my brain must have exploded because all power of reason and logic went out the window.

I called Russ all right, and asked him to drive home from work (45 minutes away) to pick me up and take me to the hospital (the same direction he had just come from, 35 minutes back into town). I got dressed. I woke up the kids and got them ready for school. I called my parents and sister to give them a heads up and arrange for Kendall and Cooper to be picked up and dropped off at school and the sitters and assured them repeatedly that I didn't need a ride to the hospital, Russ was on his way to get me and they could meet me there a bit later.

I put on my makeup. With contractions now 2 minutes apart. And no concern at all. My dad arrived to get the kids and I sent him off with a wave, repeating that Russ was on the way, I was fine.

Here I am when Russ arrived home to pick me up. 

I had to make him stop to take the picture - he wanted me in that car and moving!
My contractions were now 1 minute apart and lasting a full minute each time. I began to feel the slightest bit of urgency while Russell about imploded with fear that we wouldn't make it and he would have to deliver a baby in the car. I scoffed at him. And asked him to please slow down a little because I was trying to apply my mascara in the visor mirror. 

And then we hit morning rush hour traffic. Russ put the emergency blinkers on and drove 70 miles per hour up the shoulder of the highway all the way from Berry Hill in Oregon City to I-205. I began to panic and tried to call the hospital on my cell phone to let them know we were coming and in a hurry but I didn't have the right number and couldn't stay focused to listen to all the automated voice prompts. I decided not to tell Russell that I felt the urge to push.

We pulled into the parking lot of Kaiser Sunnyside hospital at 8:44 am and Russ screeched up to the double doors of labor and delivery, abandoning the car while he pushed me inside in a wheelchair because I could no longer walk. There was no one at the counter so we rang the bell... and waited... and waited... and I may have begun to hyperventilate because THE PAIN.

Finally, a voice came over a loud speaker asking if we needed help and Russell announced that I was in labor... in case they couldn't tell from their video monitors that showed me huffing and puffing with my face scrunched up in agony. The locked doors into the ward opened and a nurse met us and took me to be weighed. I wanted to choke her. Instead I changed into the gown she gave me and was left alone with Russell in a triage room, with the promise that a mid-wife would be in to check on me "soon". 

When I panted to Russ that I reaaally needed to push he patted my leg and, relieved that we were finally safe at the hospital, told me to go ahead and do what I needed to do. 

I stared at him like he was crazy before yelling that I was not going to push WITHOUT A DOCTOR and to go get one pronto.

He came back with a doctor, who said she would check me, and all hell broke loose when she reached up and felt the head crowning. Things went a little crazy then but the main thing I remember is that I started crying really hard when they told me that I could NOT have an epidural, and as they wheeled the triage bed I was lying on around the corner and into the nearest room I kept repeating that I couldn't do it without one. 

Well apparently I could because not one minute later there Blake was, caught by a mid-wife who barely got her gloves on, on a bed not set up, with me screaming to the heavens "NO, I DON'T WANT TO!!!!"

It was a lovely scene. 

30 minutes later the first of my family arrived, excited and expecting to be present for the birth, and Russ had to meet them in the hallway to break the news that they'd missed the whole thing.

From the time we pulled up, to the time Blake was born, a total of 12 minutes passed. He was a shocking 9 lbs, 2 oz, and for the rest of the day I told all my visitors that whoever said natural birth was amazing and wonderful were ABSOLUTE LIARS because it was horrific and awful and NEVER AGAIN!

I got over it quickly though; look at this amazing guy!

  And this little gift from a friend helped too...

Chocolate makes everything better!
And that wraps up the story of how I kind of went into shock while I was in labor and consequently made some really dumb decisions but still ended up with a perfect little son who is now three years old and the absolute light of my life. 

Happy birthday Blake! You were soooo worth it!!


  1. I was so hoping you'd post this story today! Still one of my favorite stories (probably because it didn't happen to me!) Happy birthday Blake.. .Auntie loves you very much!!

  2. I LOVE IT!!!!! Terrifies me to death that I will go into panic mode and do the same!! But Blake was cute when he was born and you LOOK amazing for just having pushed out a 9lb baby with out Meds! You are pretty amazing! Happy Birthday Mr. Blake you are super sweet and loved from everyone!

  3. LOVE this story! I also love that you told Russ to slow down so that you could put your mascara on, ha ha! I remember you calling me on the way to the hospital, so calm and telling me to come whenever. I couldn't believe you had already had him and were now eating your first meal by the time I got there!

    Happy Birthday Blakers, we love ya!

  4. what a great birth story! happy birthday to him!

  5. I love his birth story. All I remember is coming to visit you that day and while holding Blake he kept making little baby noises and I went into labor lol.

  6. These words sum up child birth... Peace of cake... no problem... easy peasy! Just ask any man.

  7. Still the best birth story ever !He definitely COULD have been born in the Tahoe though.. how Russell made it from work to home and to the Hospital in time is still amazing to me..his reward..finally a little mini me.
    "Happy Birthday Beeper "

  8. Hilarious! I wish my babies would have popped out like that!

  9. I love Blake's Birth Story! You had me laughing out loud. Love it, love it, love it.

  10. Awe Blake is 3 can that be? I love this story as well. And I am very proud of you for making it thru without an epidural. I missed one with Kennedy, and even fibbed when I had to push, because I wanted it so badly. Oh dear! Fun story and a handsome young man!

  11. Thanks everyone for the comments! (Except Tim. I owe you a slap ;)
    Andrea I remembered that while looking through my pictures, and now always know how old your twins are :)

  12. oh Jodi-ba-Dodi, love it, love you, love them all. Tim, we have to talk....

  13. I can remember not being very happy that you were not taking my advice to let me drive you in. Silly, silly girl! Tim you are so right it's easy peasy (idiot- said with all love!)