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A rat's tale


Yesterday was all sorts of fun - from beginning to end. Well, almost end. 

While Russ hunted I scrapbooked with my sister-in-law Tricia and then spent the evening at Jana's thanks to Russ graciously letting me go play two nights in a row. 

Jana and I had the epitome of a perfect girls night in - pizza, brownies, peppermint white chocolate coffee, and getting caught up on the latest episodes of SIX of our favorite TV shows. Thank you DVR! And of course we had to pause the TV several times during the evening to discuss all sorts of important matters, leading me to get home a little "late-ish". 

Since my husband suffers from a serious disorder that causes him to leave on ALL electrical switches when leaving the house or heading to bed (radios, TV, lights, etc.) I came home to a fully lit house, and could not help but notice a large amount of dusty debris on my kitchen floor. It looked like it came from under my fridge, which would make sense because, who cleans under their fridge - ever? Interesting. I wondered what had happened. 

And then when I was crawling into bed Russ rolled over and casually mentioned that he and Kendall caught a rat while I was gone. 


He was too tired to elaborate and after failing to get any more out of him I faded off too, despite my disgust of this news, and by this morning I had forgotten all about it. 

Until I went to throw something away in my kitchen garbage and spied a rat's tail sitting on top. With NO BODY ATTACHED. 

Beep beep beep beep beep... that would be the sound of me furiously calling Russ at work to find out exactly where the rest of the rat might be. No answer. 

Next step: wake up daughter and begin immediate interrogation. She nonchalantly informed me that Daddy spotted the rodent RUNNING ACROSS OUR KITCHEN FLOOR and chased it until it hid under the fridge. When they finally got it out it ran into the living room and under our ottoman, which they flipped over, and then killed it with one of my steak knives. Oh, and at some point it's tail ripped off.

Oh my freaking grossness! I shall be disinfecting my floors and kitchen utensils today. 

This has brought up all sorts of repressed feelings because on a dark lonely night back in 2005 I murdered a rat myself. And now I'm going to have to come clean and tell the tale. 

Come back Monday for my confessional.


  1. One less rat to infest the world and one floor under the fridge cleaned! Sounds like their evening was more exciting then yours:)

  2. Aren't you glad you weren't home when that happened?! GROSS!! I would have wet myself when I saw the tail laying in the garbage!!

  3. ..a STEAK knife??!! oh my goodness!! I can totally picture Russ launching him self at probably loved the whole senerio. These are the kind of stories Kendall will get to tell her own children about her father. :D

  4. No no it's all wrong... "she cut off their tails with a BUTCHER's knife!" Has Russell learned NOTHING from nursery rhymes?? Steak knife... hmmmpfff...amateur!

  5. ha ha ha Kelly, your comment cracked me up :)

  6. I can tell that Kendall told it to you like it was old news, yesterdays fare....She is so immune to her dad's adventures.
    Rats!!!! AWHEILDKIDKE! (that was that weird he-bee gee-bee feeling shoulder shake included.)

  7. It deserved to be blog fodder because it left the whole world to come into YOUR HOUSE!'s its own fault!