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A helpful communication tip

8.03.2010

Yesterday I found myself in a bit of a "situation". 

I realized that we still owed $100 on a family beach vacation coming up soon and I had forgotten to tell my husband about it. After the great budget debate of 2010 last week you can probably imagine my reluctance to call Russell at work and share the good news. So I decided to ease into the subject gently, and via email. 

Me: Hey babe, great job on all your recent "American Picker wannabe" finds. I'm going to try to sell some baby stuff to make a little money too because I realized that I still owe your Mom for part of the beach trip so want to come up with that on my own. 

His (very natural) response: Cool, how come we still owe money on the beach trip when I paid in full? (he gave me the cash for it back in January)

Me: Well it was one of those scenarios where you gave me the money to pay her and then every time I saw your Mom I forgot, or I'd remember when I didn't have the money with me, and next thing you know 2 full months have gone by and it's down to $120 in my wallet instead of $200, so I call your Mom and say "PLEASE GET THIS MONEY BEFORE I SPEND IT ALL". She finally did but told me to keep the $20 and just give her the $100 for now. Which I did. And then forgot all about it till now. Oops. 

Him: "No comment :("

Me: Well I knew you wouldn't really enjoy that little story but you asked so... 

And then I turned my cell phone on silent and took a nap with Blake (for preventative measure) and by the time Russ arrived home from work he was willing to admit that money designated for something else has "disappeared" from his wallet too when it has sat there for too long and so he could understand how it happened. 

And I understood that I need to remember this great communication tool for delivering bad news and have therefore recorded it.. for the benefit of all ;) 

6 comments:

  1. You have the luxury of an understanding husband, lol.

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  2. "hell hath no wrath like a melancholy's scorn"... I'm pretty sure that is the proverb that would apply if this situation happened in MY household. Woe to me, woe to me.

    You are blessed to have a sanguine husband for this very reason! For additional proof, allow me to remind you of the New Year's receipt incident of 2007! (shudder, shudder)

    Even for a sanguine though, you still dealt with it nicely... way to go.

    Love it, love you!

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  3. Hiya Jodi! Thanks for giving me yet another blog to follow and admire! I've spent the last hour getting caught up, and enjoyed every post. You're off to a great start!

    And I love how amazingly open and honest you are. I have had several of these "communication breakdown" "budget crisis" moments with my husband as well. I recently told a friend how spoiled I am. This honesty with myself thing is new to me.. glad to have someone show me how it works! ;)
    ~Summer

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  4. EXCELLENT job of breaking the news slowly, honestly and making sure there was plenty of time and space to process the news and response. Jon and I often sort out differences via e-mail, since I am much better at communicating without getting defensive or frustrated if I can write it out.

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  5. Thanks Kel, you're a crack up. And thank you Summer and Megan!
    Megan I'm the same as you, I need time to put my thoughts together articulately. And Russell needs to time to let off steam (or be reasonable ;)

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  6. I remember when you told me in January that you had spent the money, but as a melancholy myself I must still say "Jodi, Jodi, Jodi!"(:

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